Does your life have a center? What is it? You don't have to visit with someone for very long before you can begin to see the answers to these two questions. The challenge then is to avoid associating the person with your perception.
A key principle of relationship and communication is that a person can --and will--change. The change may be profound as in moving the center of their life. In relationship, it is best to assume the best possible motivation for the other person and, at the same time, give them room to make mistakes. It is just possible that, even if we share a common center, are motivated by the same high purpose, and are both "good people", that we might not take exactly the same path to the goal.
In the best of all worlds, we would be attentive to each other and aware when we seem to be diverging. When we see this happening, we would talk about the divergence and the reasons for it. At this point, there have been no mistakes, no recovery is needed. All we need to do is realign ourselves with our shared goal. The path chosen might be mine or yours or some new one created out of the improved understanding derived from our conversation.
These principles are as applicable to groups as they are to individuals. Many a "leader" has brought disaster to himself and his followers by becoming focused on the problem in front of his nose and losing contact with the overall objective. This happens when the leader's center either moves inside of himself (glory, revenge, hate...) or was there to begin with (advancement, wealth, recognition...).
Don't lead your followers into a trap. Keep (or move) your center outside of yourself.
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